All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
