Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
third nipple confirmed
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
