apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
