maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
