Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize