I'm really into asian looking animals
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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