Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's official drugs can't kill me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
