peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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