i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
