It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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