hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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