tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Fuck appropriateness.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
