"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Shame - the story of my life.
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