The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just googled if crying burns calories
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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