Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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