I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
