Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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