I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My vagina is officially offended.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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