You were right. It hurts to walk today.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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