I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
