Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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