He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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