Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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