I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
