I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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