it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
