Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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