i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You smell like stripper and shame
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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