i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just found puke in my bra..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize