So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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