I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
