dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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