im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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