I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
