I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize