Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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