I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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