Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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