I think I died a long time ago.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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