Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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