The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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