He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Holy sore nipples Batman
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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