you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize