i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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