Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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