i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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