I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
