you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish I only lived at night.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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