just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
