I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
