oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
