Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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