dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
