i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
