Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
