Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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