Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
